What fitness means to me.

This week last year, my husband said to me "Hey, I know you want some help with your weight so I saw in the paper they are doing the Biggest Loser competition at the Rec Center and thought it might be fun." Normally, I would probably have been hurt by that. But in this case, I had to admit he was right and he was very sensitive in his approach.

The fact was that we struggled to get pregnant for almost three years. First, there was some depression and frustration and naturally I gained a few pounds with that. Then, there were the fertility treatments and drugs, and I gained way more than a few pounds. Lastly, there was finally the pregnancy and I was not cautious with my weight gain during those nine months. I was so happy to be pregnant that I lived it up.

Rewind a bit before the infertility and I struggled very much with reactive hypoglycemia. For a year I had severe seizure like reactions to a drop in blood sugar and went misdiagnosed for much of that time. Once I finally realized what was the actual problem, I worked hard on changing my diet in order to maintain more stable blood sugar levels. I decreased the frequency of my seizures, but I never factored in any exercise.

All of these factors put together has shot me up to a weight of 175 before my pregnancy and 205 right before having Jaxon in November of 2013.

So, I was very hesitant and insecure when I started the Biggest Loser, but it was probably one of the biggest, most important baby steps I have ever taken in my life. Back last February, I only worked out once a week and led a pretty unhealthy lifestyle, but I focused each week on making one tiny change. For example, one week I focused only on drinking enough water, another week focused on cutting out one source of processed sugar each day, one week focused on adding two more weekly workouts, and one week focused on changing to a meal prep lifestyle with salads for lunch instead of frozen meals.

From February 2014 to May 2014, I didn't see a whole lot of change. I lost a few pounds during the competition, but I really started to see changes over the summer when I devoted more time to working out. I went up to 4 or 5 workouts a week for the next few months and the pounds started dropping off.

When school started back up in August 2014, I had laser like focus on my diet. I started adding more protein, eating a well balanced breakfast, I cut out all soda (my biggest joy in life at that point) and traded it in for a low cal, low sugar Blendicano each day. I cut down to one cheat meal a week and started having healthier snacks. All of these small changes were really adding up, and after seeing so much progress, I was hooked and wanted more!

In September 2014, I tried the Fit Girls 28 Day jumpstart ebook and loved it! I didn't do many of the workouts, because I was loving my HIIT class. But the recipes really helped wrapped my brain around healthier eating. I started having protein power bowls for lunch, consisting of chicken and beans, quinoa, and roasted veggies. This keeps me full for the afternoon and gives me enough energy to get through a tough workout after a full work day!

Like everyone, I struggled around the holidays because, let's face it, I LOVE cookies! I gained  little bit of weight back after Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year. But, I came into 2015 with a ton of energy and motivation! I started several programs in January: the 12 week Bikini Body Guide, a 12 week weight lifting program, and more recently, Alexa Jean's 30 day Sore to the Core challenge.

Lifting heavier weights and cutting back on the cardio, has actually pushed me past my plateau and I am not losing pounds, but I am losing inches and feeling much stronger! I had a hard time thinking that lifting weights was the same type of workout for your body when I wasn't sweating the same as high intensity cardio, but it is actually making a difference! Since January, I have lost 3 inches on my chest, 2 inches on my waist, and 3 inches on my hips! To me, that's huge progress! I also had to accept the fact that at some point you can't use weight as a measurement of progress anymore. At some point you have to use other things: how your clothes fit, or measurements, progress photos, or muscle gain.

What I wanted to say by telling you all this background information is that my definition of fitness and health has monumentally changed throughout the last calendar year! At first, it was all about weight loss and feeling skinny. Then it went to just a lifestyle choice with balanced nutrition and regular exercise. Now it's a question of control and progress. I see that I am in complete control of what my body is like and that I can make any changes I want to it. I see that by trying different forms of exercise, your body responds in different ways and adapts to each change.

End of the year.

This school year was actually the hardest year of my career. I am not sure what the main reason was: personal depression, unruly kids without consistent consequences, lack of support within our building, community issues being reflected within the school, exhaustion, having a one year old at home to worry about... I can't pinpoint the exact reason why this year was such a struggle.

But here I am, 18 days left, I think and I am finally reconnecting with my students. It feels so good! Some classes have big projects that are already done, Student Council only has the fun task of Teacher Appreciation Week left, and my Spanish classes are starting to wrap up and slow down. Of course we still have testing and assemblies and sports and tons of madness. But in the middle of that madness I've taken a couple of opportunities to talk to my students.

These aren't bad kids we are dealing with. They are good kids who haven't been raised the right way, haven't seen love modeled well, haven't experienced the safety net of a safe home environment. They are good kids who see too many bad things on TV, spend too many hours on Facebook and their phones, and have too many mature issues to deal with. I worry about them.

And, so, I've taken time out of my classes to just talk to them. Some kids have talked to me about their feelings of their own education system and how they think it should be different. Some kids have talked to me about working out and health and how they are taking control of their physical well being. Some kids have talked to me about Prom...and it drives me insane...but that's what they love and are excited for. Some Seniors are starting to talk to me about their fears for the future and the "what now" moment they are having. Some students have talked to me about struggles at home or with friends and I just keep telling them to push on, kill them with kindness, don't let the mistakes of others impact you.

I have been so angry this year with my students. Some have called me words I wouldn't even whisper or write on paper to repeat. Others have fought me every step of the way with being tardy, breaking rules, not studying, etc. Others simply don't do anything and tell their parents that I've lost their assignments...again.

But in the end, they are children. And bigger than that, they are confused children. They are young adults with an underdeveloped maturity and overactive imagination due to the influences they constantly receive from social media. They are kids who haven't been held to the consequences of their actions and that's not their faults. Can I really ask these students to parent themselves? To reflect on their behaviors and understand why they are wrong if no one else has taught them right and wrong?

This post might not make any sense, it's mostly just my end of the school year ramblings. But I just want to put it out there that the misbehaviors of our students aren't the teachers faults, aren't the students' faults...it's society's fault. It takes a village to raise them, right? And I am thinking that our village is failing them right now.

But despite the failures that our culture gives them, they are still good kids in the end. I love my students and they teach me more each year than I could ever hope to teach them.

My 2015 One Little Word

I've seen projects surrounding Ali Edward's idea of One Little Word for several years. A couple of times I have attempted to re-create my own projects. But without Ali's guidance and vision, I went no where fast (usually by the end of February). So, in 2015 I decided to officially commit and signed up for the year long class.

This was a little tough for me, because a year long commitment is tough on top of anything else. However, I decided to stick my One Little Word layouts and journals into my Project Life album. This year my main family album will be something more like a catch all album...but more on that later.

I don't think I chose the word PUSH, I think it chose me. When I talked in the previous post about learning in 2014 how much control I have over my own life, the word PUSH seemed like the next logical step. I have been working hard on learning the basics of everything, and now I need to push myself to the next level.

The quote that really stood out to me in the class' January prompt was "You will never know your limits unless you push yourself to them." And that's exactly what I want to discover this year: how far I can truly PUSH myself and what I can really accomplish.

So far I've chosen to splurge with my Mad Money and buy two items that will help make my word more visible in my every day routine.
    1. I purchased a personalized ring from Etsy with PUSH engraved on the front. I hope that will be   delivered by the end of January! I will wear this everyday to help remind me of what my heart's desires are this year and how I need to keep working harder to make them realities.
   2. Also from Etsy, I purchased a personalized plate that gets strung on the shoelaces of your tennis shoes. When I run on the treadmill and outside, I tend to always look down at my feet. So, I am hoping that it will be a good reminder to work harder when the word PUSH keeps staring up at me!

When I think of my word, PUSH, here is what I am envisioning for the year:
1. PUSH myself harder during workouts in order to PUSH closer to my fitness goals.
2. PUSH bad food further away from me. For examples, a few less french fries, less sugar, no soda.
3. PUSH myself through our financial goals. This means avoiding tempting purchases, and instead pushing more cash into our savings account!
4. PUSHing distractions away from myself so that I can better focus on singular tasks and especially more quality time with my husband and son.
5. PUSH my photo business to the next level. I am really hoping to go full time with my business by Spring of 2016, so I need to make some huge steps in the right direction.
6. PUSHing my husband and son to reach their own goals and accomplishments. PUSHing my coworkers to be amazing teachers for our students. PUSHing my students to achieve higher levels of thinking and reach their own goals as well.
7. PUSH myself to share more and be embarrassed less. I don't want to feel shy about myself any more and be able to share my accomplishments to hopefully help inspire others.
8. Finally, make a PUSH to better my life by only putting my time into the things that are most important to me. I need to cut out some extra activities, and have more time at home to complete chores, play with my family, or just rest and PUSH a minute for myself into the daily routine.

That's all I have so far, but I fully expect my understanding of the word PUSH to change as the year unfolds. I am excited to see what PUSHing myself harder can make happen!! Here is what I have for my first OLW page that is going into my 2015 Catch-All album:

Here's to pushing a little harder in this Little Life!

Non-resolutions for 2015

Let me first say that I am NOT into resolutions. I am, however, very much into goals and plans. A goal without a plan is just a wish, and I don't feel like wishing for my life anymore.

2014 showed me exactly how much power I have over my life. I took control of things into my own hands. I've lost 65 pounds (since November of 2013), went from a size 16 to a size 4, learned how to better manage my time and balance my priorities, I've learned when to say yes and how to say no. I now know that my life isn't something that happens to me, but rather something that I create and mold. I completely trust the vision that God has for me, and I am eager to help him make all things possible.

That being said, I wanted to write a little bit about what I want to do in 2015 and maybe how I want to accomplish it. Those who know me in real life know that I try to get a lot of things done each day...maybe way too many things. It's a lot of juggling, a lot of chaotic stress, and a lot of unrealistic pressure. I now see that I can do anything, but I still can't do everything. So, in an effort to be very picky about what I devote my time to, I have narrowed my projects down to the few, most important.

Here are my personal priorities for 2015:
1. Family (is and always should be #1)
2. Fitness/nutrition
3. Home
4. Expanding my photo business
5. Rest and rejuvination
6. Creative projects

Here are some of the projects/techniques/tools I am going to use in 2015 to focus on the above priorities:
1. Ali Edward's One Little Word
2. Becky Higgins Digital Project Life and Project Life App
3. Passion Planner
4. Clean Mama's Weekly Cleaning Routine
5. My Fitness Pal and FitBit Tracker
6. Mint.com and Dave Ramsey's 7 Baby Steps

Maybe you're familiar with some of these techniques and tools or maybe it sounds like a foreign language, but I did want to take some time to talk about each thing I've discovered (mainly through Pinterest and my trusted Instagram community) and how they have changed my daily life.

Things are getting serious in this Little Life!

Wordless Wednesday (Christmas Movie Night)

It's getting cozy in this Little Life!

Breezy Family Getaway-Minneapolis, MN

Most people wouldn't think of Minneapolis in December as a fun weekend getaway. Most would prefer a warm destination, something with a beach, or at least some sun. But not the Breezies!! We have been dreaming for four years of going to the Holidazzle parade in Minneapolis.

One day back in October I was randomly searching trips on Expedia (which is a regular hobby of mine) and I found a great travel deal! We paid $350 for two round trip flights and two nights hotel. I as so sir it as a mistake that I begged hubby to book it with me before they fixed the error. We got it booked and we looked forward to the tip for weeks!!

This past weekend we finally went!! I didn't have a set plan, because 1)that's ridiculous with a one year old baby and 2)I was so ready to just relax and let go of control. It ends up being a blast! I had a few random ideas that I had found on Pinterest and we came up with some things last minute just because.

Friday we got up at 3 am (what you have to do for cheap flights anymore) and were in Minneapolis by mid morning. We first went to the downtown Macy's for the Santa Land display and it was so cool!!

Jaxon loved the Santa Land, with all the movie displays and lights and music. He did not, however, love Santa. It wasn't bad, but he wouldn't tolerate it very long and looked very unsure of the strange man! So funny!

After that we went and spent the evening in the mall of America. We did some fun shopping but mostly just walked around and hung out. 

Saturday we woke up early (thanks Jax) and took a drive to the Wisconsin border. Jaxon has now been in nine states, I believe, and has photo proof of eight state signs. 

Then we headed to Como Park zoo and conservatory. This was a location I found on Pinterest and am so happy that I did! It was free and was so beautiful! We loved walking around the gardens inside and then we saw a few animals outside while Jaxon napped all warm under blankets in the stroller. The conservatory with the poinsettias was absolute breath taking!! I was absolutely determined to get s photo of the room without anyone walking through. For this I had to wait 40 minutes, but it was so worth the result!!

Saturday night was a bit of a struggle. It was getting very cold, and I was still fighting the flu, and we had a difficult time finding a restaurant with an open table and that allowed babies. We were s little surprised with how rude some of the waitresses and hostesses were downtown. We stopped and regrouped in a little coffee shop and I loved the hot chocolate! We walked through rice park before finally finding a restaurant closer to our hotel.

I was thrilled to go to bed early that night after supper. I was just exhausted and did not feel well. Sunday was spent relaxing at the hotel and doing some last minute Christmas shopping before flying home. On the flight back I think my boys were a bit worn out too!

So, I completely understand that this was not a dream trip for most people. But for us it was wonderful!! We spent time together, reconnecting and making memories. We did something that we have talked about for years. It was perfect.

Sometimes the small things make the biggest difference in this Little Life.

10 on Tuesday 11/25

Today I wanted to do the 10 on Tuesday a little different, and do it like a favorites list!  I have been working on ideas for my "Last Year in my 20s" album, and I want to mix in some of Becky Higgins' list cards. So, I thought I would combine all of these and make my first list for the album be a 10 on Tuesday Top Favorites right now!

And these are in order of most important in my life currently...
10. The holiday flavors of EOS lipbalms. Yes, I am still hopelessly addicted to anything Burt's Bees. But, that being said, the new flavors of EOS that I found at Target are delicious! Also, I have now officially accepted that I am in deed a goo-hoarder.

9. Sabra to go hummus packs. I have eaten one every.single.day for the last week! They are just so good! I love guilt-free snacks! (I can't, for the life of me, figure out why the photo is upside down?)

8. Old Navy clothes. Seems like that is all I am living in right now. I love that I can afford several different pieces at once, especially since all those burpees have paid off. I went from a size 16 to a size 4/6 and now I had to rebuild a wardrobe somehow!

7. My Passion Planner pages! I have been debating on whether or not I should go back to using a paper planner for a while. The thought of everything on the iphone or ipad is just so effortless and transportable. However, as things got crazy busy and my stress level sky-rocketed, using a paper planner really helped me keep perspective on life again. The Passion Planner has pages you can download and use for free by filling in the dates. It gives you space to plan each day, write the daily and weekly focus/goals, reflect on the positive things that happened that week, write your personal and work to do lists, and gives you space to take notes, doodle, journal or brainstorm. It's everything I could have asked for in one spot and I highly recommend it!

6. Signo pens by Uni-ball. I grabbed three of these pens while looking for a discbound notebook for my Passion Planner and these pens are the stuff! I know not everyone is a school supply nerd like me, and that's okay, but these pens make me so happy! They write like a nice gel pen would, without the spots where the gel doesn't flow well. They are so smooth...I could go on forever, but really, no one loves pens as much as me.

5.SNOW!! I am so excited for it to be snow season! I want to play in the snow, take photos in the snow, and travel to snowy places! We are headed to Minneapolis in two weeks and I can.not.wait!! Did I mention I love snow?

4. Boot socks! As if boots over pants and leggings wasn't already the cutest thing...I added ruffly boot socks to it!! It gives just a girly little touch, without being much effort at all! I even asked for two more pairs of cuffs for Christmas from Grace and Lace online!












3. Christmas. This isn't a favorite product or activity. But it is my favorite state of mind right now. It's probably crazy to call Christmas a state of mind, but I am totally trying to embrace the magic of the season without any of the stress. It is so easy to get caught up with family messes, money matters, or the general feeling of "is it just over yet?" about it all. But I truly love Christmas time and want to enjoy every magical, wonderfully moment I get with my boys. I can't wait to see how Jaxon stares at the Christmas tree or what he does with all the decorations soon to be around the house!












2. The Canon 40mm pancake lens. I don't have it yet, but should be here by tomorrow! I ordered this lens because while traveling and in the house, my 24-70 is just so heavy and sometimes I feel like it scares Jax away. Also, I don't want to carry my 50mm around every day, because it is my main portrait lens and I don't want anything to happen to it. So, I read about this 40mm pancake and am very excited to try it! For the price tag of $199, I figured it would be an awesome daily option that doesn't scare anyone away from my camera.

1. Still the Blendicano. I cannot start my day (or be very successful) without a coffee in the morning. I took the original recipe made by mshelll on instagram, took 2 shots of espresso away (because I just can't handle it) and BOOM the Breezy was born. Just kidding. But if you ask for that in my Starbucks they may know what to give you!

Things look like they are finally settling down for me, and I am excited to enjoy some time with my family over the holidays. It's all good in this Breezy Little Life.