End of the year.

This school year was actually the hardest year of my career. I am not sure what the main reason was: personal depression, unruly kids without consistent consequences, lack of support within our building, community issues being reflected within the school, exhaustion, having a one year old at home to worry about... I can't pinpoint the exact reason why this year was such a struggle.

But here I am, 18 days left, I think and I am finally reconnecting with my students. It feels so good! Some classes have big projects that are already done, Student Council only has the fun task of Teacher Appreciation Week left, and my Spanish classes are starting to wrap up and slow down. Of course we still have testing and assemblies and sports and tons of madness. But in the middle of that madness I've taken a couple of opportunities to talk to my students.

These aren't bad kids we are dealing with. They are good kids who haven't been raised the right way, haven't seen love modeled well, haven't experienced the safety net of a safe home environment. They are good kids who see too many bad things on TV, spend too many hours on Facebook and their phones, and have too many mature issues to deal with. I worry about them.

And, so, I've taken time out of my classes to just talk to them. Some kids have talked to me about their feelings of their own education system and how they think it should be different. Some kids have talked to me about working out and health and how they are taking control of their physical well being. Some kids have talked to me about Prom...and it drives me insane...but that's what they love and are excited for. Some Seniors are starting to talk to me about their fears for the future and the "what now" moment they are having. Some students have talked to me about struggles at home or with friends and I just keep telling them to push on, kill them with kindness, don't let the mistakes of others impact you.

I have been so angry this year with my students. Some have called me words I wouldn't even whisper or write on paper to repeat. Others have fought me every step of the way with being tardy, breaking rules, not studying, etc. Others simply don't do anything and tell their parents that I've lost their assignments...again.

But in the end, they are children. And bigger than that, they are confused children. They are young adults with an underdeveloped maturity and overactive imagination due to the influences they constantly receive from social media. They are kids who haven't been held to the consequences of their actions and that's not their faults. Can I really ask these students to parent themselves? To reflect on their behaviors and understand why they are wrong if no one else has taught them right and wrong?

This post might not make any sense, it's mostly just my end of the school year ramblings. But I just want to put it out there that the misbehaviors of our students aren't the teachers faults, aren't the students' faults...it's society's fault. It takes a village to raise them, right? And I am thinking that our village is failing them right now.

But despite the failures that our culture gives them, they are still good kids in the end. I love my students and they teach me more each year than I could ever hope to teach them.