Does that sound familiar? That's because it's exactly how I started that last blog post!! I am drowning in so many ways and my poor tiny baby blog is getting the least of the leftover energy and attention. In fact, the only reason that this blog post is happening is because I figured out how to sync my wireless keyboard to my ipad so I can type from the couch... Yep, technology is that amazing.
If you follow me on Instagram (still my only chosen form of social media!) don't let the "instaglam effect" fool you. Just because I can squeeze a smiling photo in every now and then doesn't mean everything is wonderful in this Little Life. I honestly feel like I am on autopilot and barely keeping up with life right now.
First of all, people prepare you to have a newborn, but no one prepared me for what having a toddler was like! It seems like when Jaxon turned 18 months old a light switched flipped and things have never been the same since. He is on the run, unpredictable, doesn't quite understand discipline, can't comuunicate clearly yet, and still does the whiney-crying thing to get his way. Also, no one told me that toddlers watch movies over and over and over and over and over...oh, and over again.
Maybe the veteran Mamas out there are thinking "yeah, welcome to the rest of your life" but I just haven't adjusted yet it seems! Having a toddler is HARD. Seriously hard. After teaching other peoples' kids all day I feel like I am exhausted when I come home and don't have energy to give to Jaxon, let alone to my husband. Jaxon hasn't even been sleeping calmly through the night recently. He is working on those two year old molars and so he whines and cries out in his sleep just enough to wake me up through the baby monitor and I am not sleeping well. It's adding up.
Don't get me wrong, he's adorable...but he is a non stop challenge in patience.
Secondly, balance in life is a mysterious concept that I feel like I may never get a grasp on. Like the tooth fairy. Or bigfoot. Does balance really exist?
I think balance is totally worth striving for, but I think something in your mix will always get left behind and get the least attention. Right now, for me, it's probably my photo business. That breaks my heart, but I'm all about the honesty.
My days are long, being away from the house for almost 12 hours. I am ready for the day by 6 am when Jaxon normally wakes up and I enjoy breakfast with him and get him dressed for the babysitter. I leave the house between 6:30 and 6:45 and HAVE to get coffee. I mean, everyone in Bennett asks for my drink as "the Breezy," I just can't go a day without my coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Can anyone else see those dark circles under my eyes?? Anyway, I get to work around 7:00 and hit the ground running. Go Go Go Go Go until 4:30, helping 180 wonderful students, 15 exceptional teachers and sometimes some needy family and friends. By that point, my mental energy is low but I take my cellucor amino acids and push through a workout at the rec, that takes me close to an hour and a half. So, I find myself getting home around 6:30 in the evening and it's time for the second shift. I take over for Jason and try my best to entertain Jaxon and keep him for throwing tantrums and throwing hot wheels at my head. We have supper around 7 and try to get Jax to bed by 8. I don't even know when I last bathed my child. Just kidding, but don't judge me it doesn't always happen each day!!
Among all that madness, I am having a very hard time balancing everything. Full time job, exercise, family, marriage, friends, myself, my side business, training for my Spartan race, house chores, etc... I just can't find the magical answer to getting it all done. If anyone has suggestions I am ALL ears!!
What's your trick to feeling balanced when life gets hectic and full?
I am hanging in there and trying to get caught up on blog posts in this Little Life...
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